How to start a conversation on a dating app is a tricky skill but don’t worry you are more than capable of mastering this. What works in real life doesn’t always translate online. Different than in real life – you want to assume there’s trust between you two immediately so seize the opportunity to build rapport. You’ll get to know each other on the date but build excitement for that date with charismatic texting and quality questions.
We believe men should initiate the conversation on the dating app after first matching – so guys, we’ve provided you 10 different conversation starters and real life examples. Test them out and see which ones fit your personality and stick with the ones that work. This doesn’t haven’t have to be hard, follow our steps to get her to respond to your move.
Online Dating Conversation Starter #10: Skip the small talk and drop into real-life chatting
- HIM: “I’m looking for a new playlist/podcast – hit me with what you’re listening to right now.”
- HIM: “20 years from now will we say damn we killed it?”
Online Dating Conversation Starter #9: Ask her opinion on something trivial but purposeful
- HIM “We’re having this debate at the office, 4 day work weeks. Do you get Monday off or Friday?
- HIM: “Croissants or Muffins? and Coffee or Tea?”
- HIM: “Window or Aisle seat?”
Online Dating Conversation Starter #8: T/F Questions
- HIM: “True or False – Mountain vacations > Beach vacations?”
- HIM: “Ok True or False – the United Center queso is what queso dreams are made of?”
Online Dating Conversation Starter #7: Multiple Choice Questions
- HIM: “a perfect day includes:…” A] Coffee and a good book, B] A walk down Lakeshore Drive, C] A home-cooked meal, D] All the above
- HIM: “The best way to beat Sunday Scaries:….” A] gym & grocery store, B] Self Care Sundays, C] Football & Football & Football, D] All the above
Online Dating Conversation Starter #6: A compliment is ALWAYS a good start
- HIM: “Hello gorgeous, I know I’m not the first person to have said that to you today”
- HIM: “That lip color 🔥🔥”
Online Dating Conversation Starter #5: A thought-provoking conversation
- HIM: “If you were trapped on a deserted island – what’s the one item you’d bring?”
- HIM: “What are you most proud of this year?”
- HIM: “If you had to rename your wifi. What would you choose?”
Online Dating Conversation Starter #4: A playful challenge
- HIM: “You sure you want to lose at mini-golf and lose the upper hand in the relationship so quickly?”
- HIM: “My favorite fried chicken place vs your favorite fried chicken place. Winner picks dessert and orders for the other person the rest of the night.”
Online Dating Conversation Starter #3: A bold comment to bridge the awkwardness
- HIM: “FMK: F*CK, Marry, Kill…”
- HIM: “I bet you’re good at tennis, but we’ve never played. Saturday at 9:30a?”
Online Dating Conversation Starter #2: A joke
- HIM: “Dad jokes don’t translate well, so…..it’s a good thing I’m not a dad.”
- HIM: “Did you see the avocado shortage? Take my left arm before taking my avocados”
Online Dating Conversation Starter #1: Create a conversation around her profile pictures & bio
- HIM: “Tell me you went to Brasserie Ten Ten when you were in Boulder, I love that restaurant.”
- HIM: “I’m going to Thailand in March, what was your favorite part of your trip?
Things NOT to say to when starting the conversation on a dating app
- Hey! How are you?
- Hey, what’s up?
- Hey, how’s your day going?
- Do you have any fun plans this weekend?
- How’s your week starting out?
These are conversation starters that we would say in real life – but online this is boring and online, guys, you need to start strong. If you start the conversation here it’s hard to carry the momentum into an organically flowing conversation. The appropriate response to these questions does not leave room for flirting and playful banter. This is a conversation starter not a checked box, the level of effort you put into this part will dictate how the rest of the conversation will go.
AND, SWIPE RIGHT’s conversation starter POWER MOVE tip–
- Skip the small talk and text her like you already know each other, when you take away the stranger-newness the formality disappears and the conversation will just flow. If you start out with a boring line like these, then your chances of slipping into the “older matches” section of her match list without a first date. You need to stand out to catch her attention, matching with her is only half the job. Landing the job is the next step so make sure you start smoothly.
There you go, don’t forget to report back. We love hearing from you.
– the AND, SWIPE RIGHT team
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